This week has hit me like a mack truck. This past weekend was great, but full of activity. The husband and I got out in the yard on Saturday and created a walkway to the driveway which I am super proud of. We hauled 1 truckload of topsoil in our yard and 2 truckloads of stones. We did a ton of heavy lifting, and I was worn out by the end of it.
I had a plan for dinner, but after all that work, I just couldn’t bring myself to do more. We needed a hearty dinner out, and Red Robin was calling my name. It pretty much maxed out our restaurant budget for the month, but it was worth it. This bacon cheeseburger hit the spot.
Sunday, I woke up sore. My legs and back were very angry at me for all the lifting the day before. I was generally pretty lazy, but I still managed to spend the afternoon with my husband, sister, and mother. We had lunch together, then decided to go see Divergent (which is super great, if you’re wondering).
I also did my regular Sunday meal planning thing. I made a list. I went shopping. I couponed like whoa and managed to save over 50% off my groceries. That’s always my goal, but it can be hard without feeling like you can’t buy the stuff you want. This time, I got everything I wanted, and still saved tons of money. I had a plan. It was healthy and tasty and affordable.
… and then Monday happened. I’m trying to find the words to communicate this. It’s not even a full moon, but I’m telling you what… these kids are something else. Amidst all of the drama/terror/whatever that was happening in my classroom that day, one of my students decided to write b**** on the walls of my bathroom. Twice. He was pretty upset with me.
I came home, exhausted. Snuggled into bed with Netflix, but was a little distressed by the static noise I heard in my bedroom. Was it coming from the wall? The floor? What was that? Google “static noise from crawlspace”, and you might discover that apparently snakes can make this noise when they’re under your house. That was certainly less than reassuring. After much hunting, however, my husband and I were able to discover it was some sort of water leak beneath the house. And we’ve had the water on minimally since then. The plumber should be here tomorrow. Yay homeownership!
And then today, the kid did it again. Twice. I don’t really understand… because he got caught, and he had to have known that he would. I did, afterall, enlist the help of a “bathroom monitor” today, who checked the bathroom after every person used it (certainly a less than glamorous duty). And this is the stuff about my job that people don’t get. And if that were the only stuff I dealt with, I could probably deal with it with substantially more grace than I showed today. But then there was the plagiarism… the three different girls in tears for three different (and completely unrelated) reasons… the boy drama (oh god, how I hate it)… the talking back… the whispering to a friend during a lesson and the screaming “I didn’t even do anything!” when caught. Grace was something I surely didn’t possess today.
And somewhere in there, the plan went out the window. I know that it’s especially important for me to eat healthy on days like this, but when your only goal on a “day like this” is to not cry in front of your students (because crying when they go to P.E. is pretty much inevitable), concessions must be made. At least, that’s what I tell myself. Because sometimes, the plan becomes stress inducing, and I’m dealing with enough stress outside of it. … so we’ll see what meals happen this week… and what meals get replaced by canned soup and gluten free chicken nuggets from Costco… and what meals get pushed to next week. All I know is that food is supposed to enable me to live life to its fullest, never detracting from it.
Sometimes, it seems like there’s a war between “regular working folks” and “people who cook all the time”. Their lifestyles don’t seem to mesh. Phrases like “I just can’t do all that” get thrown around, and it bothers me, because most days, I feel like I get to be both. And I really think other people can/should be both, as well. But right now, I’m feeling more like a regular working person, and less like a person who cooks all the time. And I think I’m just going to be ok with that.
Because sometimes you don’t get a snow day when you really need it… because you’ve got water leaking into the crawlspace under your bedroom (which totally doesn’t even make any sense because there is zero plumbing on this side of the house)… because sometimes the things you love most about your job also require more emotional energy than you can really muster… because sometimes people you care a lot about call you a b****… and sometimes, you don’t even have a reason… it’s just because. And that’s ok too.