The boyfriend thinks I’m more dainty than I am. On Halloween, he made jello using a brain mold he has. And while we were sitting at the counter in his kitchen, waiting for our dinner to cook, I dug my hand into the jello. Right into the middle of it. I grabbed a huge chunk. And shoved it into my pie hole. He was appalled. I don’t know why. I do these things in my imagination all the time. I just don’t usually have a jello brain sitting in front of me.
At the state fair, when I was chowing down on a giant turkey leg, he insisted on taking tons of photos to document it. I’m not a dainty eater. I don’t know where he gets these ideas…
So tonight, we’re sitting at the counter again, waiting on dinner. And there was a jar of nutella on the counter. And I’m hungry. I asked him if it was gluten free. He assured me that he never double dips (what a guy!). And I told him that I kind of just wanted to get a spoonful to snack on before dinner. We talked about Winnie the Pooh getting his head stuck in a honey jar. And then he dared me to just shove my hand into the nutella jar. And then… as I was contemplating his dare, he went ahead and double dared me to.
I couldn’t say no. And I got some on my nose. It happens.
That is potentially the funniest story I’ve heard in weeks, and just yesterday Hudson told me the play by play of the epic booger she dug out of her nose and proceeded to eat during naptime. Disgustingly hilarious. I couldn’t tell her it was funny, I had to encourage proper hygiene etc. But I’m not your mom, so I can tell you that your story is hilarious. Hygiene be damned.
Whatever. My hand was clean.
I forgot to include that he bet me a milkshake. He sure knows how to manipulate me. Peanut butter fudge. Worth every delicious sip.