If you’re getting tired of my 30 rock references, you can deal with it!
Random side note: sometimes, I make your mom jokes. Pretty much nobody finds them as amusing as I do. That’s kind of how I feel about stupid TV references. … if you even got that they were TV references.
So pretty much all I think about is food. We discussed this. A small percentage of my time is therefore spent on both men and food. And I have some thoughts on this.
First, it’s probably a deal-breaker if a guy is a picky eater. I’m not trying to be shallow here. Really, I’m not. I just enjoy cooking far too much to really spend the rest of my life with somebody who wouldn’t enjoy eating whatever I cook. I might rethink this if the right guy came along, but I sort of doubt it.
Second, it’s probably a deal-breaker if a guy won’t tell me when my food isn’t any good. I’m not saying he should be a jerk. I certainly don’t believe that. But he should be able to kindly tell me what I should have done differently. It secretly annoys me when people say that everything I make is the best ever. I want to get better, but I need some help. And I feel dumb when I’m the only one saying, “Yes, these are good, but I think I should have cut the salt since I used salted butter.” Actually, I don’t feel dumb. I feel like that girl who is begging anyone to tell her there wasn’t too much salt in her scones. And that’s not it at all.
Third, it’s probably a deal-breaker if he’s obsessive about a diet regimen. I’m not opposed to healthy eating. You know I’m not. But I don’t need somebody guilting* me every time I want to eat some french fries.
Fourth, it’s probably a deal-breaker if he doesn’t share food. I want to eat off of his plate, and I want him to eat off of mine. Elizabeth says you should just try this out on the first date, and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. I’m not so sure, but I really hate being afraid to do something that feels so natural to me.
* Apparently “guilting” isn’t a word. I was distressed by the red underline chrome was giving me, so I looked it up. I got this message: “No results found for guilting: Did you mean guilting?” What gives?!
Hypocrisy. You were a fussy eater growing up, and I was once excoriated for telling you that your cornbread was no good.
This post is full of truth, though.
I’ve long held that refusal to share food is a tacit rejection of the two essential elements of a relationship — kissing and giving.
A) But then I grew up. And I don’t mind saying that I don’t want to date 11 year old Jenny.
B) My cornbread was fine. You just don’t know the difference between cornbread and oatmeal cookies. Besides, I was 15, which justifies any poor decisions I may or may not have made.
C) So what do you do about it? Just eat off his plate? Because I feel relatively comfortable offering him the pickle that came with my sandwich, but just snagging one of his french fries seems a bit much.
If you don’t feel comfortable taking a french fry (of all things) without permission, then end it now, please.
When not at a restaurant, grab his drink and sip out of his straw. Or take his spoon and get a bite of his ice cream.
Honestly, I’m having a harder time imagining inappropriate ways to take his food…
You are SERIOUSLY freaking me out! I have to fight the urge to make mom jokes to my son, because… well… obviously. I say your mom and so is your face to just about everything. Nobody gets it, nobody laughs, but I know it’s funny and they’re stupid. I had one friend back home that got these jokes. I miss her. You can be my online mom joke friend and I will love you, and pet you and name you George!
Also, my husband has to be seriously brutalized into telling me when I need to change something on a recipe (or even agree with me that I should). And it is SO annoying. If you can avoid this, I recommend it. I fell in love with his stupid self before I found this out.
I referred a certain young man to this post, for his own reference… if he was interested. This led to a long conversation about how everything I’ve made for him has been delicious, but he’ll be sure to let me know when it’s not. I think he missed the point. I’m skeptical, but I figure I’ll give him a chance. We’ll see…